September 20, 2025

Imagine dreading Saturdays—not because of work, but because of social pressure! That’s the spicy dilemma faced by a Delhi bureaucrat who recently moved with her husband. While her husband loves playing badminton with a lively group of officers, filled with laughter, samosas, and cake on the court, she stays outside their WhatsApp group, only hearing about the fun from afar. Now the 'gentle reminders' to her husband to host a party have turned into cheerful bullying, making him anxious and ready to just "get it over with." But our writer feels differently. She hasn’t said yes to hosting—not because she dislikes people, but because she hates pressure hiding behind fake friendliness. She explains, "The kind that insists we all participate equally in a rhythm we didn’t necessarily choose." The nagging social script especially hits women, pushing them to be warm, welcoming, and up for every event, sometimes at the cost of their own peace and joy. Many end up cooking for crowds they didn’t invite, all to avoid seeming boring or unsupportive. But guess what? She says, "I’ve reached a stage where I’m done performing." With a demanding job, kids in tough academic years, and a household to manage, weekends aren’t free playgrounds. And she values quiet Saturdays, soaking in her own company and spending time with a small, calm group of genuine friends. She adds, "I don’t need a group to feel included. And I don’t think social obligation should masquerade as belonging." If she ever throws a party, it will be her choice, on her own time, with people she truly wants to be with—not just to impress. Until then, she plans to enjoy peaceful weekends: sipping tea, reading books not recommended by any group, taking guilt-free naps, and saying a firm, refreshing NO to hosting next Saturday. This candid piece comes from a commissioner of Income Tax and spokesperson for the Central Board of Direct Taxes, who’s not afraid to tell it like it is. So next time your group chat pressures you to join, remember: It's okay to choose YOU over social performance!

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Tags: Social pressure, Weekend plans, Hosting, Women and society, Work-life balance, Personal choice,